Positive Quarantining Part 1: Rekindle appreciation

Even when you love your partner & enjoy his or her company, you need a break from each other.  I learned that divorce applications skyrocketed in China after quarantining. There were so many applications, China shut down the application process. 

This is a whole different story than occasionally needing a break from each other.  The Chinese symbol for the words crisis/danger & opportunity are the same.  What if we used quarantining as an opportunity for building relationship & coping skills?  It is up to us to make something good come of any event.

Significant Relationship – Questions to Rekindle Appreciation:

Take the time to write & answer the questions below. Come up with some actions to build & show appreciation.

What do you find most enjoyable in your significant relationship?

In the past what did you enjoy doing with your partner that you are not doing now?  Okay, you’re going to have to get creative here with quarantining.  While staying at home, my sister and her husband started Formal Fridays.  Every Friday evening they dress up, make-up and fancy dress, as if they are going out for a nice dinner.  Smart move.  Definitely gives them something to look forward to each week.  My husband and I used to have a bubble bath & a glass of wine on Fridays  to connect and unwind after a week of work.  It made such a difference in our communication & feeling connected. When the kids came along, it fell by the wayside.  Now is the time to come up with some old or new special rituals.  So, what did you enjoy in the past and what can you create now?

What do you do that makes this relationship meaningful?

What can you do to show the other person you value him/her?

What can you start doing to make this relationship more meaningful and enjoyable?

What can you stop doing to make this relationship more meaningful and enjoyable?

 Did you come up with some great ideas or rituals to share love, fun or appreciation? Share them!

It is difficult to love & appreciate someone else if you do not love & appreciate yourself.  Do this same exercise for you!

Now that you have rekindled memories of appreciation of you and your partner - reinforce them!   Anchor them in.  The more senses you use the stronger you reinforce these positive feelings.  Here are some ways to increase feeling of gratitude and appreciation.

I am no Pollyanna.  I realize there are some seriously walking wounded out there.  There are people who lash out or blame others when they are under stress.  Sadly with quarantining domestic abuse has also gone up.  Protect yourself & stay safe.   Contact your local domestic abuse resources or call the national hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/help/.